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JULY, 1997: Central New Jersey, USA: - I take the train out to New
Jersey from my home in New York in order to find a place
to have the wedding. After a long day riding the open
Jersey highway with my mother, (what is this, a
Springsteen song?) it's down to three places: a fancy
hotel, a understated country club, and a mansion that
sits on the campus of a private school.
I won't lie to you, my first choice was the mansion. It
was grande and elegant, stunning and classy. Fresco
ceilings and scuffed wood floors. You get the idea.
But it's completely impractical, as the mansion is out of
our price range. Meaning, it's really expensive. Also,
everything would have to be done a la carte, meaning that
we'd have to contract out every job. We'd have to hire a
caterer for the food, the flatware, the china, crystal,
and waiters. We'd have to hire a party service for the
linens, chairs, and tables. Not to
mention the DJ or band, photographer, videographer, and
florist. And surely we'd have to hire a wedding
coordinator to handle all that!
That said, the final choice is the understated country
club. Why? Because it was very reasonably priced. Because
the location was five minutes away from the town Ryan and
I grew up in, and where our parents still live today.
Because we were having a day wedding and the room had
windows on two sides,
windows that showed a view that was (and is) absolutely
spectacular, a stunning golf course dotted with trees and
ponds and hills and gazebos.
Martha Stewart would probably have chosen the private
school mansion, but the country club was for us.
I was quickly realizing that practicality does play a
part in one's wedding, despite the girlhood visions of
fairy-tales and castles and Prince Charming. In fact, one
soon discovers that a wedding is as similar to those
fantasies as one's fiancé is to Prince
Charming...meaning, not much. The reality is that a
wedding has to fit into your life, not vice-versa.
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