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Threads : Is this tacky?

From : tonwa1633 (IP: 65.80.75.133)
To : Guest

05 Jun 2002 13:20
Message : 21 of 37 (ID: 1.824.17)

In Reply to Message ID : 1.824.13

Sorry but I dont agree,

Our wedding cost us about $10,000 and I'm sure most here are putting out about the same. Even if your budget is $5,000 or $3,000 out-of-town guests are not going to spend that much including the timeoff work, which is not much since most weddings are on the weekend and most people do have vacation time, so they still get paid to be off work. There is no way a guests will EVER pay more to be at the wedding than what the B&G have put out! And NO WAY will they be talking ONLY about the fact they had to pay for a few drinks!

I'm not trying to arguing, but you have brought up some points that I feel do not reflect the opinion of the common person. And if a guest is going to whine about a few drinks then maybe they dont need to be coming to the wedding. Again it's a WEDDING your putting on not some PARTY for them come and take advantage of you.

If they offer at least beer or wine or just beer for free that is plenty to offer for free. If the guests want a mixed drink, a shot, or some fancy liquor then hey, they should have no problem paying for it themselves!

MY hubby and I had family come from out-of-town and none of them complaind about having to pay for a mixed drink! My Hubby's family are BIG beer drinkers and they didnt even put a dent in the one keg we had! And we didnt go thru all the bottles of wine we offered either! And there were people who had mixed drinks as well. But as a rule of you drink mixed drinks, you'll drink beer or wine as well. so, if one of both of those two are offered for free......... NO ONE should complain if they bought a mixed drink and had to pay. They had a choice of 2 diff things to drink for free, not including softdrinks or tea, which is also charged to the B&G $1 per glass!

Sorry, but I just dont see what the big deal is here.

Toni

From : audramae (IP: 208.145.207.60)
To : kevins_gal

04 Jun 2002 17:44
Message : 22 of 37 (ID: 1.824.16)

In Reply to Message ID : 1.824.1

I don't think that cash bar is tacky at all, in fact...it is the norm around here. If you do feel that you would want to pay for some, you could always pay for a certain number of kegs or the equivilant of one glass of champaign or wine per guest. Leave hard liquor to the guests! Good Luck

From : Pinkpooh99 (IP: 172.169.216.236)
To : Guest

04 Jun 2002 15:30
Message : 23 of 37 (ID: 1.824.15)

In Reply to Message ID : 1.824.13

I still can't see how people would consider it being rude if you provide people with many drinks choices including beer and if they are still dying for a shot of vodka or a strawberry daquiri then they can pay for it themselves! I don't know about everyone elses family and friends but I know for sure I woudlnt' be the talk of the night just becuase I wouldn't pay for their shots. My family isn't worried about small details like that. I think it's tacky for people to moan and groan about having to pay for a mix drink, when they have a bunch of other things to choose from. For us we can't tell the bar not to serve anything but we can choose for it to be open or not. Plus our bar is in another room! I agree with Toni's post 110%!
Teri

From : Guest (IP: 208.155.5.96)
To : Guest

04 Jun 2002 14:35
Message : 24 of 37 (ID: 1.824.14)

In Reply to Message ID : 1.824.13

The above post is just my own opinion, please lets not make it a fight. Thank you.

cya: Bertha

From : Guest (IP: 209.83.27.185)
To : kevins_gal

04 Jun 2002 14:12
Message : 25 of 37 (ID: 1.824.13)

In Reply to Message ID : 1.824.1

Hi all!

Even though I am just cruising wedding sites for ideas (my wedding is Sept 28/02) I just had to jump in on this post!

I have to agree with the previous post that opposes the idea of a cash bar. She is right. If you have guest bringing you a decent gift, they should not have to incur any unnecessary out of pocket expenses. Let alone the guests that are (as you mentioned) paying for accommodations, flights, lost work etc. These people are already "at a loss' just to be at your big day. We all, as hosts of our party (at which we can assume we will be getting a gift) should be willing to "suck up" the money we may lose in wasted drinks. I have never been to a wedding where the guests were expected to pay for anything !! This idea of a cash bar EPITOMIZES tacky!!
cyb: Wake up girls!! You'll be the talk of the night and it won't be because of the gown you are wearing!

From : Elle (IP: 209.254.160.3)
To : Teecee

03 Jun 2002 17:32
Message : 26 of 37 (ID: 1.824.12)

In Reply to Message ID : 1.824.11

At our wedding we're having free beer but you have to pay for mixed drinks. If we use all the kegs reserved (7) it will be $800. AHHH! That is scary enough I can't imagine how much it would be if we paid for mixed drinks too. And people do waste it if their not paying.

Elle

From : Teecee (IP: 209.105.216.203)
To : tonwa1633

03 Jun 2002 12:33
Message : 27 of 37 (ID: 1.824.11)

In Reply to Message ID : 1.824.10

Here, here, Toni! Well said!

Teecee
02-07-20

From : tonwa1633 (IP: 65.80.66.141)
To : kevins_gal

03 Jun 2002 12:00
Message : 28 of 37 (ID: 1.824.10)

In Reply to Message ID : 1.824.1

Hey Kevin's Gal,

Again here's is another one of those issues that everyone feels they are right. (ie: the issue if registery cards s/b put inside the invitations).

The reason you have to use the reception facility's bar is because of the law and liquor license issues, (just ask and they will tell you). It's pretty much that way all over.

But just because you have to use their bar does not mean you have to serve alcohol drinks. Now if the facility insists that you HAVE to serve alcohol, then I'd go somewhere else! You should not be FORCED to serve alcohol at your reception.

So, I'm assuming that's the issue is that you have to use thier bar and not bring in your own alcohol - correct?

Again, I have never heard or read that its rude to ask for guests to pay for their drinks. Weddings are expensive as it is and your not paying for your guests to PARTY on your tab. Many, Many, Many, weddings have cash bars. Our receprtion coordinator suggested that if we wanted to offer something for free that it would be beer. Many people offer beer or wine for free and then you get to pick which type of alcohol you want as cash only, meaning basic well drinks or brand name alcohol.

We offered 1 keg of beer and I think about 6-10 bottles of wine for free, after those were gone, you had to pay for that. And you'd be very surprised that a keg will not even be finished and we didn't even even go thru all the bottles of wine.

We also had guests that bought their own drinks and we didn't have ONE complaint!

I have not gone to a receptin yet that did not offer something for free and something you had to pay for. There is nothing wrong with that.

So, if you dont want to serve any alcohol except for maybe a toast then don't. It's your reception and your belief's. If you would like to offer something for free, offer beer, lots of people drink it and it's not that expsensive (one keg for our reception was $60)and I'm confidant that no one will complain. If they do, then they are the ones who are tacky. You offer them a free dinner, entertainment, cake and a small favor, if they complain they have to pay $4.00 for a simple drink, they are the ones who are impolite and tacky.

Best of luck to you, dont fret too much about this, it really should'nt be that big of an issue.

Toni

From : Teecee (IP: 209.105.216.203)
To : kevins_gal

03 Jun 2002 11:46
Message : 29 of 37 (ID: 1.824.9)

In Reply to Message ID : 1.824.1

Most weddings I have been to have had cash bars. We are having a cash bar and have indicated this on our invitations. We will be charging a minimal price for the drinks (1.50/beer, 2.00/cocktail). I don't think you should try to profit from the sale of alcohol at your reception, but it is necessary (sometimes) to charge in order for people not to abuse it. I was at a wedding where there were full drinks all over the hall and there was SO MUCH waste. It is poor etiquette to have guests pay for drinks, but sometimes you have to bend the rules a little bit...remember this is 2002, not 1802!!!

Teecee
02-07-20

From : Pinkpooh99 (IP: 152.163.197.82)
To : MPC

03 Jun 2002 10:57
Message : 30 of 37 (ID: 1.824.8)

In Reply to Message ID : 1.824.7

I understand what you are saying but I think if you provide the guests with plenty of other drink options then having an open bar isn't tacky. I'm from a small town and I've been to many closed bar weddings and it goes alright, however I've been to weddings in the city and all have been open bar so it does depend alot on where you are like you said. I am providing my guests with fountain pop (so there should be atleast 5 different ones to choose from), punch, tea, coffee, I'm thinking they also provide lemonaide too, and we are purchasing 2 kegs that will be open of course.
Teri

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