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Threads : A dose of REALITY!
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From : Carol ( - 168.69.3.26)
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27 Mar 2000 14:20
Message : 1 of 7 (ID: 7378)
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I went to my friend's wedding this weekend in St.Louis. I know how much/long she agonized over every detail of her wedding and how much energy/stress she put in to it (especially since it was in a different state). The wedding was very pretty. The reception site was great. The food could have been better....but there was nothing she could do about that. We had a great time.
I realized that it just didn't matter what kind of centerpieces she had or that all the flowers followed a certain "theme" and look. I realized that I, being a bride-to-be, didn't even really "look" at the stuff she was all stressed out over. I just wanted to share this thought with everyone that is stressed out -- MOST likely, YOU (and your mother) will be the only ones that really notice that your linen napkins are the exact same shade of blue as your BM dresses....
What I learned was #1 yes, make it look nice, but don't stress and #2 details are just that....don't sweat it!
It is like when you do something dumb or fall infront of a bunch of people....it is a HUGE deal to you, but no one else even gives it a 2nd thought!
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From : Sammy ( - 204.48.27.130)
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27 Mar 2000 15:03
Message : 2 of 7 (ID: 7387)
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On the other side of that, I went to a wedding this weekend where I left thinking that there really should have been more thought put into the wedding. The ceremony lasted all of 5 minutes (honestly, no exaggeration). There was nothing "personal" about it and it could have been anyone standing up there. I usually get a little emotional at weddings and my emotions didn't even have time to figure out what had happened! The reception was very costly ($150pp for 200+ people) and yet nothing really seemed spectacular about it. There was a TON of food but that was actually disturbing to know how much was going to go to waste that night. Maybe I just put too much thought into it now that I too am planning a wedding but it just didn't seem the least bit special and I think a wedding should be at least that... Lists of issues:
-there were ushers yet no one ushered the guests to their seats.
- the music was the same for the entire ceremony; the bride was halfway down the aisle before anyone realized it and stood up because there was no pause or change in music.
- nothing at the wedding made you realize who was getting married... there were absolutely no personal touches!
I am sure I'll think of others.....
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From : Carol ( - 209.196.111.34)
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27 Mar 2000 20:08
Message : 3 of 7 (ID: 7396)
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good points! I guess that my friend's wedding just calmed me down a bit and made me realize that the nitty gritty details are not worth the stress!
but obviously, effort should be made so a wedding isn't hum-drum like the one you went to! =)
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From : Connie H ( - 208.235.28.207)
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27 Mar 2000 20:25
Message : 4 of 7 (ID: 7400)
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Maybe we don't notice the small touches (ex:napkins matching the perfect shade of the bridesmaids dresses) because that do look good and well put together. I think we would notice if it were not done so nicely. Just a thought!
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From : Robin ( - 206.172.232.152)
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27 Mar 2000 21:02
Message : 5 of 7 (ID: 7407)
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That's what I was thinking. To me, that's the point of putting things together so carefully. So your guest don't notice anything but the fact they are having a good time. You don't want them leaving, saying " Well, that could have been better". Where they may not notice that the napkins and matches matched the bridesmaid dresses, they will notice if things didn't go smoothly, or if the style is very ecclectic. You'll know they've noticed these things when you ask them if they enjoyed themselves and they give you that fake/pity smile and exagerate(spl?), with big gestures. (ok, so that was slightly run on)
Anywho, like was said thought should be put into the day.
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From : Andrea M. ( - 141.140.61.15)
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29 Mar 2000 10:57
Message : 6 of 7 (ID: 7506)
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LOL! I'm with you on this one, Carol. You are quite correct, but I am not at all surprised to see how little agreement you are finding here. Brides are under enormous pressure to spend piles of money on stuff which is completely peripheral to a meaningful ceremony and a beautiful party. It's hard to know where to draw the line sometimes...
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From : Sammy ( - 204.48.27.130)
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29 Mar 2000 00:12
Message : 7 of 7 (ID: 7514)
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Andrea M., I don't think the comments posted here were in disagreement with what Carol said (at least I can speak for sure about mine). The comments I made had ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with money. The things that could have been done to make the ceremony or reception more meaningful could have been done with a total cost of $0. My point was entirely to the contrary. Obviously this couple (or should I say the bride's father) spent a TON of money on this wedding and yet there was nothing, in my opinion, spectacular about it! Sure it was fancy and stuff like that but nothing personal or meaningful on a deeper level.
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